Too much information?

Someone commented the other day asking if I'd really want to see a video of one of my seizures.  I have actually given this a lot of thought.  Shiela and Ben know what the expect the best and have seen the most variations.  Fun experiences like falling off the toilet and laying stuck between the washer and dryer and the tub with my ass front and center for when the EMTs arrived.  I'd rather not see a video of that one.

Today I woke up on my knees in front of the couch with my back arched over so that my head and shoulders were on the couch.  I remember thinking that I needed to get up to get my morning meds and then I remember smelling smoke just as I was standing up.. then poof.. next thing I remember was Shiela helping me back on the couch and being in a whole boatload of pain.  Aside from the fall or whatever I did to get into that position.. it must have been a pretty mild one because it didn't seem to take long before I was up and moving/talking again.

I've had several seizures in the waiting rooms at the Emergency Room at Baystate Hospital (ask me how much I hate them).  I've had a few in ambulances.  I've even had a few in the exam rooms at my doctor's office.

Oh wait.. then there was the one I had at Red Robin.  Shiela told me that no one noticed.  Yeah.

I guess that what I'm saying is that there are a lot of people who know what I look like, however graceful or freaky, when I have a seizure.  My cousin was even colorful enough to let me know that I make a "god-awful sound".   I am the one person who knows nothing.  I have no memory of any of the seizures.  I remember smelling smoke each time.  I sometimes remember moving to a safe location.  Then I remember waking up feeling like I spent a few hours running on the beach and swimming in the surf... minus the tan.  Oh.. and my head feels like my skull has been cracked open and broken glass shoved into my eyes. 

I know what Shiela has told me and all of my doctors about what happens during a seizure.  Is that enough?  I am not sure.  I'm not sure I want to see it.  Part of me does.  Part of me is embarassed to know that there is part of me that other people have seen that I am totally unaware of.  Part of me thinks that the lack of consciousness is a form of blissful ignorance.

For the moment.. I won't be hiring a professional videographer.

Good luck keeping up...

Let's catch up.  This is a photo of me that I took from my iPod about a month ago.  I look great.  I thanked the iPod for being so flattering for me so that my mother wouldn't worry when she saw my Facebook profile picture.

This is also a photo of myself that I took from my iPod.  If I wasn't hooked to as many wires, the iPod might have had a chance at helping me look just a tad bit healthy.

 I'll probably explain more when I feel like it.  For now, let's just say that I've been diagnosed with a "conversion" disorder that has made my life both suck and blow for the last 6-9 months.


Benji... my pride and joy... is perfect.  Here is a pic of him before his last haircut.  It was a crazy winter.  Very rare that you can play in the snow in Massachusetts in March while wearing a T-shirt.

He is my life.

In other news... a number of tornados ripped through Springfield two days ago barely missing our neighborhood and causing a lot of stress, loss, and heartache for a lot of people.  We were very lucky that everyone we know in this area came through it all ok. 

By now you should understand the Title of this post... "Good luck keeping up..."  Because of the medical problems that I've been dealing with recently.. I have a hard time not getting distracted and/or keeping on track.  This is one reason I haven't blogged.  I decided that I would try blogging again and not worry so much about my grammar and humor and whether or not people enjoy reading my work.

Over and out.